Mind Games
by Jeri Strauss
Summary: They say that when two Jupiter Adepts mind read each other at the same time, their lives will never be the same...Ivan and Sheba experience this firsthand when a certain incident throws their life into chaos. Can they sort out their differences?
1. Dear Diary

**Shadow:** This idea just randomly came to me while I was doing my history homework. I don't think it's ever been done before so no one can say it's unoriginal. But if it has been done, forget what I just said.

**Spark:** Well, the only thing you have to worry about it subconsciously writing about Golden Sun in your history essay. I can see it now: "The Native Americans were angered by the Adepts settling their homeland…"

:Shadow runs off to proofread essay:

**Spark:** How amusing. Anyways, this fic is going to be a romance/humor. The pairings include mud, flame, lighthouse, and stormshipping. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter One: Dear Diary...**

As he lay there between the sheets, he wondered how in Sol's name he had gotten himself into this mess. Was it the wine or his own stupidity? What would everyone think when they found out the truth? How could he explain this to Felix, who was sleeping so peacefully beside him? How would he explain this to Sheba?

"Shit…" he mumbled to himself as he sat up, revealing his bare chest. His clothes lay scattered across the floor and it would prove to be a daunting task to get dressed in the dark. He rubbed his face, trying to wake himself from this nightmare. 'OK, just calm down,' he thought. He had to think logically, like an intelligent human being. 'It was your birthday and you got drunk. You woke up in Felix's bed. Nothing happened…' He pulled the sheets away and realized that he was completely naked. 'Nothing happened…'

Felix moaned from beside him and shifted in his sleep. He turned over and felt the empty place where his lover once was. "Are you up?" he whispered sleepily.

'Shit,' he cursed. 'Ivan, whatever you do, don't say anything!'

"Maybe…" he replied, trying not to sound distraught. Felix leaned over and pulled him back towards him.

'Fuck…it's times like these when you wished someone was a hermaphrodite…'

* * *

"IVAN!"

There was trouble, right here in Vale. He snapped the book shut and tucked it into his robes. Perfect timing, because she came running up to the tree moments later and looked up at him. "What did you do with it?" she growled.

"With what?" he asked.

"My journal! You took it!" she hissed. "Now give it to me!" She held her hand out for him to drop the book into. But he wasn't going to give up that easily. Oh no, not without a fight. He straddled the brand and leaned down, giving Sheba a high-five.

"You little…" She had anticipated such sarcasm from him and grabbed his hand the moment it touched her palm.

"Oh Sheba," he whispered while hanging upside-down. "I didn't know you cared!" She scowled at him give his arm a yank. It was his mistake since he hadn't gripped the branch tightly enough. He landed on his back with a loud 'thud'.

"Now hand it over!" she shouted as he leaned over him.

"Why do you have to be so violent?" he whimpered as he sat up. "Besides, I don't have your crummy journal!"

"Well," Sheba asked, sounding unsure. "Then who's were you reading?"

Ivan sighed and reaching into his cloaks. He pulled out a small book and opened it. With a lick of his finger, he turned to a random page and showed Sheba that the entry was signed by Jenna.

"Oh, sorry! I'll see you later!" she laughed, her mood suddenly changing faster than gas prices.

Once she was gone, Ivan let out a snicker. He had to thank Mia for sewing those extra deep pockets into his tunic. He never thought they would come in handy, until now. "Now where was I?" he mused as he quickly swapped journals. He opened Sheba's and began thumbing through the pages. "Ah yes…'Dear Diary…today we reached the Western Sea. It's so pretty here and so much different from the Eastern Sea. I was enjoying the view from my spot in the crow's nest, when I suddenly started to slip. Fortunately, Felix was there to catch me. How did he get up there so quickly? But I don't really care. I'm blushing as I write this to you now…'" Ivan snickered as he read on. "Oh Sheba, you do make me giggle…"

He flipped through the next couple of pages. "Oh! She's finally met up with us…'Dear Diary…today we met up with some of Felix's friends. Their leader is named Isaac. He's really cute (but not like Felix!) and seems to be a good leader. His best friend, Garet is really a funny guy. Already we've become good friends…joking around and playing pranks on Jenna. I think he has a crush on her. Mia is so sweet. It's so obvious how much she and Isaac like each other. But then there's this kid, Ivan. Man is he annoying! He's a Jupiter adept like me and he's constantly reading my mind! It pisses me off to no end. How I would like to just shove him off the boat and watch him flail in the water…'" Ivan shut the book. That was enough nosiness for one day.

"Were you talking to yourself again, Ivan?" a voice behind him laughed. He frowned to find Picard leaning against the tree behind him.

"W-when did you get there?" he stammered as he slid the book back into his tunic.

"Just when you started muttering something about pushing someone off of a boat and taking pleasure in watching them drown," he replied nonchalantly.

"Good," he said as he breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't want to have another close encounter of the Sheba-kind today…"

"Why? Do you think that I would tell Sheba that you were reading her diary?" Ivan nodded. "I wouldn't do anything of the sort." The skeptical wind adept raised an eyebrow and mind read his Lemurian friend.

Once he had gotten the desired information he shook his head slowly and clicked his tongue. "What a kiss ass…don't think that by being nice to me will guarantee a date with my sister."

"Damn," he muttered as he kicked a rock with the toe of his shoe. "But will you put in the good word for me?"

Ivan stroked his chin pensively. "Given the situation, I guess I owe you a favor." He glanced back at Picard. "But you won't tell Sheba I was reading her diary, right?"

"What diary?" he laughed as he walked off.

'Good boy,' Ivan thought to himself as he began walking in the opposite direction. He thought it would be best to go check in with Isaac before returning to his laziness. It was quite an accomplishment for the little Jupiterian: he hadn't done a single thing to aid in the reconstruction of Vale. 'Serves them right,' he snorted. 'I always did the work: whirlwind, mind read, reveal, hover…teleport.' Regardless of how the others saw him, Ivan felt as if he was a god. 'I shall build a statue in my honor,' he thought as he went off in search of some poor unfortunate sculptor to help him.

His thoughts of his latest scheme amused him, and he began to skip down the unpaved streets of New Vale. But someone grabbed him by his cape, choking him. "Where do you think you're going?" Isaac asked as he dragged Ivan closer to him.

"I was just looking for you," he replied once Isaac released him. "Honest."

"Listen, we're running short on lumber and we're going to have to import lumber from Bilbin to finish building the new houses. We're also running short on cash…But the banker in town fell off his horse and now has amnesia."

"I'm very sorry to hear that…"

"We need you and Sheba to mind read him and find out the combination to the safe."

Ivan sighed at the thought of working. "What for?"

"So we can get money to buy the lumber!" Isaac yelled. "Leave the stupidity to Garet and get over to the sanctum. Mia and Jenna and tending to his injuries."

"And what are you going to do about this whole ordeal?" Ivan asked. He felt so sly asking him this when he noticed the tall glass of lemonade in his hand. "Sip lemonade?"

"No, I'm taking this to Kraden," Isaac replied coldly.

Ivan let out another well-timed sigh as he started towards the sanctum. There were two things he didn't like about the situation. One: he was feeling especially lazy on this hot summer day and would have preferred to sip lemonade with Kraden. Two: Sheba. The doors to the sanctum were wide open and he could see her talking to Mia.

"Oh, Isaac finally found you," Mia smiled as he stepped inside. "Sheba didn't have any luck in mind reading him. You'd better give it a try." He looked down and saw the man lying on a cot.

Ivan nodded and set to work. "He's a tough one to crack…" he said as he started searching through the man's thoughts. "Let's see…the combination is…25…19…45."

"I got it!" Jenna said as she scribbled the combination down. "I'll take this to Felix."

Ivan opened his eyes and grinned at Mia and Sheba. Mia received him warmly, but Sheba did not. She scowled at him and he could sense her creeping into his mind.

The next moment was all a blur to Ivan. 'I know you have my diary…' Sheba thought. The moment this thought came to him he spoke to her in his mind: 'Before you say anything, I don't have your journal…' A tingling sensation came over Ivan. It started in his head and crept down his spinal cord and eventually spread all through his body. His legs buckled out from under him and he fell to the floor, cold as a Thanksgiving turkey.

* * *

**Shadow:** Whew…that was odd.

**Spark:** You bet…

**Shadow:** I started this story out in a traditional formal; very linear. But I thought it would be funny if I decided to be non-linear and put a part that's towards the end, in the beginning.

**Spark:** Please review!


	2. Mind Games

**Shadow**: Well, I just realized what a pickle I've gotten myself into. How the heck am I going to write this chapter?

**Spark**: Hah! I laugh at you!

**Shadow**: You're so mean! :cries: I need to get another muse…

**Spark**: Does that mean…I'm…fired?

**Shadow**: No, I just need someone to help with the emotional damage that you cause me…

**Spark**: Oh, anyways, thanks for all the wonderful reviews!

Miyuki2004: Thanks for being the first reviewer! Cookies to you!

Rednal29: Well, they always say great minds think alike!

Akachi: It's only going to get better, trust us. Just you wait…

Sunruner: Aha! We freaked you out! But it's not what you really think…;)

**Shadow**: Oh yea…Led Zeppelin is on Launch! I can feel something coming…:pops knuckles: Can you feel it?

**Spark**:…no…

:Shadow throws a shoe at Spark:

* * *

**Chapter Two: Mind Games**

Something was not right. Oh yes, something was quite wrong. Ivan knew it the second he came to. But he couldn't put his finger on it.

So instead, he placed his hand on his forehead and rubbed it gently. That's when he noticed something: his hands. They weren't his own. His fingers were longer and more slender. Perhaps you could say they were "dainty". All Ivan knew was that he couldn't call them his own.

His hands were attached to arms which were much skinnier than he remembered them being. And since when was he wearing a short-sleeved tunic? Especially one that resembled Sheba's…That's when he remembered what had happened to the both of them. The last thing he could remember was her voice: 'I know you have my diary…' He reached towards his chest where the pocket in his tunic should have been. But he felt something more…something _much_ more.

He sat up as he inspected himself. Two appendages had appeared that weren't there before. 'This is just sick…sick and wrong,' he thought as he poked them. "Either I gained weight or…" No, Ivan didn't even want to consider the other alternative.

"Are you awake?" Mia asked from behind the curtain that was drawn about his cot. She inched the curtain away and found the Jupiter adept sitting upright. "How do you feel?"

"I feel different," he replied. "Something just feels odd."

"Well, I don't think anything's wrong…" she began as she pulled the curtain back. Ivan suddenly felt himself go pale as he saw what was on the other side of the curtain. The person opposite him went pale as well when they saw him staring back. And for the first time in her life, Mia was wrong. Really wrong.

* * *

Susa's eyes grew wide as he spat out the tea that he had just taken a sip of. "Is something wrong, Susa?" Kushinada asked, a worried expression growing over her face.

"What the hell was that?" he panted as he slammed his teacup down.

"Is something wrong with the tea?" she gasped.

"No, not that. I heard something…" Kushinada raised an eyebrow as she began mopping up Susa's mess. "It sounded like someone screaming…"

"It was probably nothing."

* * *

"Ivan? Sheba? What's gotten in to you two? You'll wake up the whole town with that screaming!" she scolded as she shut the windows.

"W-what are you doing over there?" Ivan stammered as he extended a finger towards Sheba. No, wait, it wasn't Sheba. To Ivan, it felt like he was looking in a mirror. He saw himself sitting in the cot beside him. But, it did scream a lot like Sheba.

"What are _you_ doing over there?" she stammered back.

"To be honest, I don't know…" he trailed off. "I mean, I wake up and find myself lying in a cot next to me. You tell me what's going on."

Sheba blinked at him. "Well, if you're over there, and I'm over here…then that means I'm…I'm…" She gulped as she looked down and pulled the covers away. Lip trembling, she pulled her pants down and screamed, again. But this time, much louder.

"Neptune's blowhole! They're delusional!" Mia screamed as she ran out the door, mumbling something about getting the Great Healer.

Sheba ran for the door and slammed it shut before proceeding to pull up her pants. "What the HELL is going on here, Ivan!! What did you do?"

"What did I do? Why do you always have to blame me for doing all of these things? Do you think I wanted to switch bodies? Do you think I wanted to have a pair of boobs of my very own?" Sheba narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "Wait, don't answer that…"

"Wait, did you say that we switched bodies?" Sheba blurted. "Do you think something happened when we passed out?"

Ivan placed his chin in his hand as he thought. "Well, the last thing I remember was you accusing me of stealing your journal…"

"And I remember you denying it!" She snapped her fingers as she leapt up again. "That must have been when we switched! Then we passed out…"

"No, that can't be it…it's too crazy! We always mind read each other and we've never switched bodies before…wait, what are you doing?" He watched in horror as Sheba began to rummage through the pockets of his tunic. She scowled as she produced a small, leather-bound book.

"So you did take it!" she screamed as she took it and swung at his head. It hit him in the side of the head with a loud 'thwack'. "How many of my secrets have you made public?"

That's when she realized that Mia and the Great Healer were standing in the doorway. Sheba was frozen in place with the book in her hand, poised to strike Ivan with it a second time. "This is worse than I thought," the Great Healer sighed as Mia let out a gasp.

'Ivan, don't tell them ANYTHING!' she thought to him quickly.

'They wouldn't have believed us anyways.'

The Great Healer stepped up to Sheba. "Do you know who you are?"

Sheba gulped and tried not to look over at Ivan. "I'm Ivan," she began. "Ivan from Contigo."

She could see Mia let out a sigh of relief. "Do you know where you are?"

"We're in Vale," she answered. "Does my voice sound funny to you at all?" she blurted.

"Not at all," the healer smiled as he shook his head. "You seem to remember everything about yourself. What about you, young lady?" he asked, gesturing to Ivan.

'Young lady…' "My name is Sheba, from Lalivero…I know where I am, so don't bother asking."

The Great Healer sighed and turned back to Mia. "Well, I guess they must still be lightheaded…"

"Get my sister!" Ivan yelled. Mia and the healer turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You have a sister?"

Sheba rolled her eyes and clamped a hand over Ivan's mouth. "She means get _my_ sister. Obviously she's still delusional…like you said." She felt a chill run down her spine as something wet and slimy rubbed against her palm, which was obviously his tongue. "Ew…" she whined as she wiped her hand on Ivan. "Don't be so immature!"

Mia's eyes grew wide with shock. "Since when did Ivan talk with that tone of voice?" she mumbled. "Send a message for Master Hama! Things seem to be worsening by the second…"

* * *

Ivan's nasty little snicker woke Sheba from her slumber. As she rubbed her eyes, the room came into focus. She woefully glanced herself over to realize that she was still trapped in his body. Ivan snickered again. "What's so funny?" she grumbled as she leaned over to the cot beside her.

Ivan fell backwards in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Sheba continued to feel utterly confused and completely unaware of the book Ivan had in his clutches. Once he had gained his composure, he sat up, wiped a tear from his eye, and began to read: "'It's so awkward for me to write this down…how much I truly care for him…'" he quoted from her diary.

Sheba's face grew red as she leapt off the cot towards him. "Give it BACK!" she screamed. Ivan was too deft for her now and he leapt out of the way, sending Sheba onto his now empty cot. "'Every time he says my name, I feel my face burn red with embarrassment. When he looks at me, I feel every capillary in my face burst with joy…'" he continued. "Oh Sheba, I never knew you were so poetic!"

Sheba picked herself up and sat staring at him. For the first time, she felt herself lose all courage and began to break down and cry. "You're such an ASS!" she sobbed. "How would you feel if someone was making fun of your emotions?"

"OK Sheba! I'm sorry!" he cried. "Just please stop crying! You're making me look like a pansy!" He winced as she continued to sob. Carefully, he placed the book back on the bed as if it were a highly explosive material. Or even worse: Felix's diary.

Sheba looked up, a smile beginning to grow across her face. "Well, I think it's a little too late about that pansy thing…"

Ivan glowered at her. "That's it!" He ran towards her and tackled her on the cot and leaned over her. "No one calls me a pansy and gets away with it!" Then he delivered it, right where it mattered; right in the groin. Now Sheba's eyes really watered. Ivan grinned down at her.

"I-I never knew it hurt this much…" she whispered as she gulped for air. (I really DON'T know what this feels like, so I'm just going based on what my guy-friends tell me) She clenched her hand into a fist and then proceeded to punch Ivan in the breast.

He cursed loudly as he leaned back in pain. (Yes, I DO know what this feels like) Clutching it in agony he began to rock back and forth. "Easy squeasy lemon peasy…" he muttered to himself.

"Don't ever do that again!" Sheba breathed as she sat up, still feeling the pain between her legs. She shot him a glare as she leaned over to pick up her diary. "Touch me one more time, and I'll get you good!" With that, she ran out the door and slammed it shut behind her.

* * *

**Shadow:** Now do you understand how hard and confusing this is going to be? Now I'm referring to Ivan and Sheba in their mental states, not their physical. Ivan's mind is in Sheba's body and her mind is in Ivan's body. So just use your imagination and I'll do my best to fill in the blanks.


	3. Of Vodka and Bloody Noses

**Shadow**: Wow, this story is doing pretty well so far. In my opinion at least…stories that have like a bazillion reviews are sort of over-rated to me. I like having a few good reviews from people telling me that they really like me story.

**Spark**: Oh, you're just sour grapes because your story isn't as good as theirs. :P

**Shadow**: OK, now I'm _really_ considering getting an additional muse…

**Spark**: O.o Fine then…thanks to the following people who submitted "honest and wholesome reviews" according to Shadow:

Miyuki2004: Awww, thanks so much.

Akachi: I can't believe she's getting another muse!!! :sobs: I always wanted to be an only muse…

WhiteBoy50000: Well, we were just guessing as to what it feels like since Shadow's a girl. But I would imagine that would hurt A LOT. Glad you like the story.

Dela the Hidden: Of course there will be! It wouldn't be any fun without it.

Sunrunner: Wow, you liked that? I was worried that it was going to be a little bit too random. Thanks so much!

Rednal29: Hmmm…I'll have to go read that. Sounds interesting.

Midiot: Glad you like it! We're hoping to somehow keep this thing going for at least 10 chapters since Shadow has so many ideas.

Dog-eared-hanyou: It's a relief to hear that it's not confusing our readers. That was our biggest fear in writing this fanfic. Glad you're enjoying it!

**Shadow**: You made that last comment before you replied sound extremely sarcastic…

**Spark**: Oh really?

**Shadow**: I was being serious…

**Spark**: That's a change.

**Shadow**: You know what…

* * *

**Chapter Three: Of Vodka and Bloody Noses**

"So Sheba, aren't you excited about your birthday coming up?" Jenna asked as she started pulled the covers off her bed. Ivan ignored the Mars Adept and continued staring out at the night sky. "Sheba?" She still received no response. "Hello? Wayward to Sheba!"

"Oh! Er…of course," he replied, nervously. "Sorry about that…"

"Well, I'm sure you're still a little messed up from the whole ordeal this morning," she smiled as she walked over to Sheba's bed and began removing the covers.

"You know, I can still go back to the Inn," he suggested as he got up from the windowsill. "I don't want to impose…"

"Oh stop!" Jenna scolded. "It's important that you stay with someone tonight just to make sure everything's OK!" Ivan chuckled to himself. On the contrary, things were horrible screwed up. "Do you mind shutting the curtains for me?"

Ivan jumped. The curtains? He sheepishly obeyed and pulled them shut so that only candlelight illuminated the room. "Don't want any peeping toms!" she chuckled. That's when he realized what she was planning on doing. Immobilized by embarrassment and curiosity (hey, he's a fifteen year-old boy! What do you expect?) he stood there and watched as Jenna kicked off her boots.

"Don't you want some…er…privacy?" he suggested, his eyes fixed on the ties of Jenna's body armor. Jenna raised an eyebrow at Sheba as she continued undressing.

"I thought I remembered you telling me that you had no modesty back on the ship," she said as she tossed the leather armor onto her bed. "And that we were like sisters." She bent over and picked up her boots and armor and carried them over to the closet.

"I…must have forgotten," he laughed as he began removing the cape draped over his shoulders. But as he was fumbling with his clothes, he found himself constantly looking up at watching Jenna.

"It feels much better to get rid of these sweaty clothes after working all day," she sighed as she pulled her one-piece dress over her head.

Ivan felt blood inching down his lower lip.

* * *

Sheba finally felt like she was in her own element. All she needed was one card and victory was hers. "So Ivan," Garet began as he drew two cards off the top of the deck. "Have any ideas for Sheba's birthday?"

She raised her hand for silence as she set her card down. Carefully, with a shaky hand, she drew her final card. Keeping a perfect poker face, she nodded with approval. "What were you saying?" she asked as she set her hand down.

Garet and Isaac exchanged glances over their hands. "Sheba's birthday: do you have any ideas?"

She allowed herself to smirk. "Well, maybe a big picnic…" she began, envisioning the perfect party. "With a big banner that says: happy sixteenth birthday Sheba. And a piñata."

"A piñata?" Felix asked.

"Yes, a piñata," she said smugly. "It's a well known fact that Sheba likes piñatas. Preferably ones shaped like bulls."

The four other men exchanged glances before returning to their game. "Well, I've got nothing," Picard sighed as he laid his cards before him.

"Two of a kind," Garet said.

"Full house," declared Isaac.

"Flush," his fellow Venus adept smirked. "And we all know here that Ivan is the worst poker player in the world, so it looks like…"

"I win," Sheba grinned as she lay her cards down. "A royal flush!" Everyone's jaws dropped as they saw her cards. "Haha…snap!" she laughed in Felix's face.

"Ivan, since when did you become such a good poker player?" Isaac asked.

"I got lessons from Sheba. And you all know she is the greatest player this side of the Goma Range!" Everyone rolled their eyes in disgust as Sheba basked in the glory. "Get on with it!"

The four males sighed as the removed their shirts. "Whose stupid idea was it to play strip poker?" Garet growled as he tossed his shirt aside.

"Ivan's," Picard mumbled. "If we had known this, we would have invited the girls to play."

Isaac gathered the cards up and began shuffling the deck. "Well, Ivan's got the best plan out of all of us for Sheba's birthday party. We can have Mia help with the cake and Picard, if you don't mind, can take care of the rest of the food."

"I don't mind at all," he beamed as he picked up his cards as they were dealt to him. "But what about this piñata business? I mean, do we really have to get one?"

"YES!" Sheba shouted. She suddenly regretted this as she felt sixteen eyes on her. "I mean, Sheba would be devastated if she couldn't have a piñata…She told me herself that she's always wanted a piñata but never had one. It's a very tragic story."

"If you say so," Isaac sighed as he picked up his five cards and began strategizing. Sheba picked up her hand and held it over her face. She glanced around the table and saw that the boys were busy studying their hands. So she slyly glanced over and examined the shirtless Felix.

"What are you looking ay?" he asked as he looked up and noticed the Jupiter adept gazing at him.

"Er…there's a mosquito on you!" she exclaimed.

"Where?" he cried as he looked himself over. Sheba buried her face in her cards as Felix searched desperately for the little bug. "What mosquito?"

"Must have flown away…" She had to focus. If she won this game, their pants would be gone.

Moans and groans could be heard as Sheba revealed her full house. She smiled with glee as a symphony of belts and zippers filled the room.

"I need to get lessons from Sheba," Felix sighed as he tossed his pants aside. She felt her face grow hot, which she realized would look very odd.

"You OK Ivan?" Isaac asked.

"I'm feeling a little sick…"

"Bathroom's out back," Garet instructed, gesturing down the hall towards the back door. She bolted out of her chair and towards the exit.

"Serves the little punk right…" Picard grumbled.

She ran out the door, past the outhouse, and straight for Kay's garden. Once she knew she was out of sight, she sat down on the bench beside the birdbath. Casting another glance around her, she leaned over and looked down into the water and at her reflection.

"Who am I kidding?" she sighed as she looked at Ivan's reflection. "Just when I get Felix to acknowledge me, I'm trapped in Ivan's stupid body." She added extra emphasis to the word 'stupid'. "Hama had better hurry up and get over here really soon."

"Hey Ivan!" she heard Garet yell. "Picard just dragged out some vodka! You know you want some!" She heaved a sigh as she picked herself up off the bench. Despite the fact that she promised to never touch a drop, she had to go in just for show. It would be very unlike Ivan to turn down an offer of any sort of alcoholic beverage.

Once she stepped inside, she saw small shot-glasses dotting the table and three bottles of vodka in the center, one of them already half-empty. "Come on Ivan!" Garet hiccupped, obviously drunk. "I know how much you love…hic…raspberry vodka…hic!" With a shaky hand, he reached over and poured her a shot.

"Well…I dunno," she stammered, staring at the shot-glass as if it were a wolf, ready to pounce on her.

"Oh, the vodka will make you feel better!" Garet snorted as he teetered in his seat. "You just looked like you were…contemporary!"

"Constipated," Isaac corrected.

"Yes, convalescent," he hiccupped with a wave of his hand.

"How much have you had to drink?" she gasped.

"Sadly, only two shots," Felix sighed as he reached for the nearly empty bottle. "Come on Ivan, live a little!" he laughed as he gestured to the glass.

She looked down and reluctantly picked it up. As she brought it close to her face, the foul odor met her nose. 'This stuff smells like it could peel wallpaper!' But once again, she felt the eyes of the other adepts on her, and quickly downed the offensive liquid.

"Well?" Picard asked.

Sheba felt as if the skin inside her mouth was melting. "Tastes like…stomach acid mixed in with cat urine."

"I know! Isn't it great!" Picard grinned as he poured himself another glass.

Now Sheba really did feel like puking. She had broken two promises that night: she drank and gave into peer pressure. But she suddenly felt relieved when she looked herself over and found out that she was Ivan, not Sheba; she was killing off his brain cells, not hers.

"Don't be stingy!" Picard scoffed as he poured her another glass. "I've got plenty more in the ship! So drink up! Puts hair on your chest."

Once again, the glass was placed before her. The pungent odor filled her nostrils, but the fact that Ivan's body was going to be screwed up, not hers, comforted her and she reached for it.

"That's more like it Ivan!" Garet grinned, his face beet red. He reached over to slap her on the back, but fell off his chair in the process and landed on the floor with a loud 'thump'.

"Looks like Garet's drunk off his ass again!" Felix laughed, his face growing slightly red as well. They had lost all interest in playing cards and now sat around the table, drinking vodka in their boxers. Sheba found this extremely entertaining. She wished the girls could be here to see this, or at the least, be able to tell them. But she couldn't. The outcome of these actions were unknown, and she wasn't ready to find out. So instead, she poured herself another glass.

"Let's go streaking!" Garet suggested as Isaac scraped himself off the floor.

* * *

**Shadow**: First off, I'd like to say that I do not condone consumption of alcohol or giving into peer pressure in any shape or form. I wrote that just to make Garet and the others…well, mostly Garet…look stupid. Do not attempt at home. However, go ahead and play strip poker to your heart's content. Just make sure you're good at it.

**Spark**: Yea, so don't blame us.

**Shadow**: Oh, and everything I wrote about vodka, I owe to a friend. I've never tasted or smelled the stuff (nor do I have any desire to) and I just wrote that based on what they've told me. But anyways, I do hope you found that at least mildly amusing. Please leave a review or I'll force you to listen to bad 70's music!


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